After all these years
It’s suddenly clear
Why I had to fall
Why I had to drown

Cause now I’m flying
And you’re flying with me
Above all the streets
We won’t ever come down

We glide through the city
We look at the people
I smile at their beauty
They smile back at me

The skyline is magic
The view so enchanting
Every face full of life
I’m inside a dream

And I’m so high
I could stay here forever
So I whisper to God, please
Keep us this high forever

But it’s all made of glass
Every tree, every leaf
Every laugh, every glance
So fragile I don’t breathe

My cup runneth over
But the cup is glass
Too beautiful to drink
And too fragile to last

So I count every moment
And measure every risk
To keep this forever
As I hold my breath

Now I’m gripping tighter
To my glass wings
As I start to notice
The people and trees

Their blank empty faces
Dead leaves in the breeze
Music turns into noise
Reality finds me

I’m dodging the branches
I’m fighting the breeze
I smile at the people
But they look through me

Now I am heading down
And I start to panic
I scream to the sky to
Turn these glass wings around

I beg God take me higher
But I hear my wings crack
Shattered on the sidewalk
I’m surrounded by glass

And as I sit there crying
I look up surprised to see
That you are still there
Standing laughing at me

You pull me up smiling
You brush me off
You start calling me silly
Like you’ve seen this before

We won’t always be high
I learned from this all
But you’ll be next to me
Which is worth every fall

I learned a lot planning a big wedding in four months. Since I will never go through the experience again (one and done, Adam!), I wanted to send my insights into the ether and dip my toes into the world of blogging. I’m not a regular wife. I’m a cool wife.

Lessons Learned

Have a plan for being overwhelmed (especially you, fellow introverts).

I was overstimulated and unprepared for the level of hosting. Everywhere I was, I felt like I should be somewhere else. I had FOMO because everyone I love was hanging out with each other and I was stretched thin. I felt guilty for the lack of depth in each conversation. I drank to compensate, oops.

In retrospect, I would prepare a few one-liners since everyone asked the same question (“how are you feeling?”). I would also ask two friends to find me every hour to share wedding gossip, bring me water, or help me change environments.

Also, averaging 8+ hours of sleep the final week would’ve made a huge difference. I didn’t sleep well, probably because I was too preoccupied planning unnecessary things like bathroom boxes. Which brings me to my next point.

Skip the bridal boxes, bathroom boxes, and hangover stations.

Our apartment became consumed by Amazon boxes and trinkets. I felt like a Jeff Bezos fangirl. This was 50% of the total planning efforts and 3% of the reward. It was unnecessarily expensive. No one said anything about the hangover station or bathroom box. Why did I think people would need hair gel in the bathroom?

I would’ve swapped the bridal boxes for a homemade sweet treat. Everyone loves a sweet treat. I would’ve left a box of electrolytes in each bathroom.

It was 25% more expensive than we planned.

I told myself I would cut corners in places that I didn’t end up wanting to cut corners. I thought I would spend under $1K on my wedding dress until I found that dress. The venue was 70% of the cost, and the other events were about 15% of the cost. If you are going to have a big wedding, I would highly recommend a casual Welcome Party. It allowed us to say hi to everyone before the big day.

Things I would skip: bouquets for the bridal party, passed apps at the Welcome Party, overspending on my Welcome Party dress, bridal bags with coordinated shirts.

Places we saved: I got a $100 wedding cape on Etsy that was my favorite accessory. We rented out a reasonably priced spot for our brunch that allowed us to bring food and alcohol. We negotiated our Welcome Party cost down $4K and we did not pay for a videographer.

The truth is, venue drives the cost and the biggest lever there is your guest count.

Decisions We Were Happy With

We texted invites.

It was a very quick way to spread the word. Most of the people who ended up attending told us almost instantly. You get immediate feedback instead of sending out the snail mail and then waiting. We (ok, mostly Adam) added a personal touch to each text and got lots of compliments on this. It was well worth the time we spent on it.

I used ChatGPT, Excel, and Word for everything planning.

I used ChatGPT to soundboard ideas, identify vendors, and find reviews. I added “scrape Reddit” to each prompt. I used Excel for the schedule, RSVPs, and a seating chart replica. I used Word as one giant brain dump for every wedding to-do.

We split wedding planning 80/20, not 50/50.

I was 80% on this project, but Adam provided support where it mattered most, like the final week when I started cracking, and with his technical skills. Also, we shared decision-making. Just because I was planning didn’t mean I had all the say. Truthfully, if I did, we would’ve blown our budget even more. I think it was good that we accepted our roles. I also think it’s good that I asked him for help directly when I needed it, and he showed up 100% in those moments.

We had our siblings as our “bridesmen”, and “groomsmaids”.

Family matters a lot to us and including friends as well would mean picking and ranking them, so keeping it to family felt authentic. Also getting to boss my brothers around on my wedding day scratched a childhood itch that I can’t explain. They were 10/10 helpful.

We used Claude Code and ChatGPT to create the seating chart board and table names.

My husband (!!) coded our wedding website, fact-checked the spelling on our seating cards, and built a custom seating chart board and table names with Claude Code and ChatGPT. My boomer brain could never, but if you are tech-savvy, these tools can save time and make everything feel more personal. The print shop complimented our designs before realizing they were AI-generated.

We did not offer a registry and instead requested “envelope-sized gifts”.

If we end up needing that insert random household item, we will use the envelope-sized gifts that we requested instead. 1 or 2 people really pushed me to open a registry and I am glad we didn’t. Say no to peer pressure!

We did not invite kids.

Adding children to our guest list would have pushed us over the venue’s capacity. Some parents loved having a kid-free night. For some parents, it was a reason not to come. Some parents still insisted on their children being included. If you bend and make exceptions you may regret it.

We picked our favorite food options instead of the “safest” options.

The fried chicken and pork blew us away at the wedding tasting but they were kind of unusual choices for a wedding. We took the risk because the safer options were not nearly as memorable. Our guests raved about the food.

We did not say hi to every guest.

We were about to do rounds during the reception but a friend stopped us and very gravely demanded that we enjoy ourselves (thanks William!).

In reflection, the guests I did not say hi to were absent from the other events or left early, and therefore I feel no guilt (I tell myself to manifest the guilt away).

We had 8 speeches.

We were advised to have 2-4, but words of affirmation are my love language, and we now have handwritten keepsakes from our beloved family. It was so special. We had them go up in groups to minimize transition time. It helps that our family members are well-spoken and funny!

Our videographer was a 12-year-old with a camcorder.

Between her recording and the guests stealing the camcorder throughout the night, we got some great footage. Shoutout to my friend Charlotte for the CampSnap recommendation—a $200 camera with no playback that you hold up to your eye. Very “early 2000s”.

Our good friend baked our wedding cakes.

All you need for this one is a very generous friend named Tara Falvey (@tspoon_ofsugar). I think our “cake cutting pictures” include me stuffing my face because I couldn’t stop eating it.

We wrote our vows and read them at the ceremony.

This moment made a large wedding seem intimate. Adam’s vows are my favorite wedding gift. As my husband said, “If we are going to invite people all the way here, we better give them a show”. Our guests loved them.

We did a no-camera first look.

This moment felt like peace and also reminded me why we were getting married on an otherwise chaotic day. We almost skipped this and I am SO glad we didn’t.

I delegated everything on the wedding weekend.

This mostly involved transporting around the stupid hangover and bathroom boxes, picking up catering and cleaning up. I enjoyed calling them side quests. This was a life saver, thanks fam!

We did one private dance class.

Adam’s parents joined us for 20 minutes to practice their dance and then left. I found the experience to be so cute and it made me very giddy for the wedding. This is now a core wedding weekend memory.

We waited two weeks for our honeymoon.

I got the flu and a post-wedding adrenaline crash after the wedding. I’m writing this from the trenches. But now we have time to recover, and I can also get my work ducks in order before we head out.

I did a hair and makeup trial.

It was great to connect with the stylist before the weekend, especially since she was there for the full wedding morning. I kept 80% the same, changed 20% on my wedding day, and also got to sweat-test the makeup with a workout class after the trial. I found my stylist on Instagram (@nino.davis) and loved her work.

Side Note: from my experience, people are happier with “hair down” styles. I got an updo for the Welcome Party at Dry Bar and immediately took it down. I have seen a few friends disappointed with up-dos. When in doubt, hair down wins.

The heartfelt cards were worth it.

Every heartfelt card we gave and received felt valuable. I have never regretted telling someone why I love them and what they mean to me.

Final Thoughts

Having a big wedding was so worth it to share our love with everyone that we love. The ceremony felt surreal. Seeing our guests connect and have fun was awesome.

Planning a quick wedding was possible because we had a lot of support from our friends and families. I look forward to returning the favor for my loved ones’ future weddings in a new and improved way.

PS. being a wife is cool

Tonight is the last page
Of the first chapter of my life
One filled with so much joy
And so much challenge too

When I didn’t know where I was going
You two guided me through
And when I forgot who I was
You reminded me what’s true

Thank you for all of the lessons
Not just on please and thank you
But on treating people with kindness
And giving away what God gave you

Thank you for all the warm dinners
For fireplaces over Christmas
For reading and hot tea in bed
Thank you for your patience

Thank you for the money
Whether tuition or twenty bucks
Thank you especially for picking up
When I called down on my luck

Even though I’ll be close
In a way I’m going away
Physically we’re all still here but
The next phase is on its way

I mean I’ll always be here
Just this chapter has closed
I’ve found the home I’m building
It will look a lot like ours

Montgomery on the mailbox
And Ragoza in the heart
I’ll still take tea with you, Mom
And have our heart to hearts

And if we’re all so blessed
We’ll have a few more to inspire
I’ll teach them all the lessons
Dad you can sing to them by the fire

And all the good that they become
And all the joy that they give
The love they carry into the world
Will be proof of how you lived